Resolutely irresolute!

Yeah, I tried to resist this whole new year affair, you know, wondering how freaking quickly 2009 passed(it so did, I swear!) and looking back on what was good and what was bad and the usual attachment of great importance to such a trivial event.I did not wish anyone voluntarily, just managed to say 'Same to you' to anyone who believed that a year that started with an examination(O.S exam at that) can be happy.Uber-optimistic.Whatever.

I make resolutions every year, announce it to whoever will listen like a classic jackass and then get laughed at when I break each one of my resolutions the very next day(I think the shortest span has been two hours, when I promised myself I wouldn't eat any cakes and assorted high calorie junk and ended up gorging on three pieces of horrible, chocolate cake, not that it being chocolate had anything to do with it being horrible, I think the eggs were bad or something) But this year, I somehow have a stronger resolve to keep up at least few of the resolutions I make. Here's a list of things I plan to achieve by the end of 2010(Brain says "Achieve?Yeah right!"):

1)Read at least 50 books.
Which implies at least one book per week.It is not a very big number but inspired by Falstaff (who happens to be someone I sort of worship), I'll keep a count this year.Started off with 'The Motorcycle Diaries' by Ernesto 'Che' Guevara. It was a delightful read, some larger-than-life phrases strewn around unnecessarily and surprisingly not very descriptive of the natural beauty of Latin America.I took three days to complete it, which is terrible by the way.But hey, I had an exam to write!(I hear laughter in my head.) Started with 'The Trial' by Franz Kafka today.Will complete it by tomorrow hopefully.I plan to read all the novels written by:
i) Jane Austen.
ii) Virginia Woolf
iii) E.M Forster
and also any novel(at least one novel) written by Roberto Bolano, Philip Roth, John Updike and Ernest Hemingway. I hope to read more of Salman Rushdie, Gabriel Garcia Marquez and Ian McEwan. Anybody interested, my birthday is on the third of February and I celebrate most of the national holidays.


2) Do something about my *ahem*
Well if you dint get that, I plan to somehow do something about my(in hushed tones) weight. I usually never keep up any sort of a regime when it comes to diet and exercise.2010 might be different.Fingers crossed.


3)Learn a new language.
I want to say a foreign language but I'm open to any right now.


4)Try to be a 9 point someone.
Yes, I actually typed that.This semester was spent being over confident and dusting textbooks a day prior to my exams which led to quite an average performance(decent in fact) but it was abysmally disappointing to me. I'm hoping to take more of an(a long pause) interest in my present domain.Who knows, might turn out to be fun.


5)Try and be good.
It isn't all that hard.This includes fighting less with Amma, being punctual, helping out Amma at home, hanging out with my friends more often, keeping to myself, trying to be not depressed or apathetic all the time.It can't be that hard, can it?


6)Be less self-involved.
Wait a second.What do you know?This is the fastest I've ever broken any of my resolutions! :)


Have a good year!

P.S-I really must come up with better titles.

Momentary lapses of...facial muscles?

She stands near the door, going through her bag, apparently looking for her keys. I know that she is trying to put on that elaborate act of fumbling through the contents of her bag just to avoid looking up to catch me stare at her. She has to look up sometime. I persevere. She looks up half a second later. I smile. I know that she will begin thinking about all the metaphors she can use for my 'impish' or 'wicked' or what was the other word? Damn, I forget. Not that I care. I always told her she was too romantic and should stop dreaming away and get real. She hadn't noticed me all this time even as I sat right behind her. Maybe it worked. That's a first. I can't tell what she is thinking right now. She is usually quick on the uptake, she must have already written half a piece of prose on my, what was that word again? smile. Her face is impassive. She is totally still, expressionless. I'm a little hopeful, waiting that she won't break the spell. Then her face lights up as she gives me a big, toothy smile.Just when I thought I was done with this!When will she ever remember that she has gotten over me?Damn!Better look down now before she makes up something else...

You're the reason I sing

I'd forgotten how much I love this song. And have to say, rediscovery tastes much better. This song was written by Bono as a tribute to his father.

Link.

Meh!

One bag of potato chips.

One jar full of water.

Some time alone.

Who cares about impending exams?

I never thought you were a fool. But darling, look at you!

"Do you remember that time..."

*chuckle*

"What? Let me finish..."

"You don't have to do this!"

"Do what? Be nostalgic?"

"Well, yeah. Don't try that whole angle with me."

"What angle?!"

"You know that thing where you tell me a forgotten memory and I think about it all moist eyed and then remember how much I've missed you and lean in for a kiss? It's too cliche."

"I'm just trying to relive a moment. And get a kiss, yes. Because trust me, you'll go all 'Aww...' when you listen to this!"

"Knowing me, you have the gall to say that."

"At least listen to me!"

"OK. Go ahead. What specific moment in our long stint of getting messed up should I remember?"

"You know that time when you'd sneak out and...?Forget it.You ruined the moment."

"Hey, I'm sorry. Tell me. Now I really want to know. I'd sneak out and...?"

"I don't want to say."

"Please? Pretty, pretty please?"

"Nope."

"You're such a girl! Grow a pair and just tell me, will ya?"

"Now that's my girl!OK the moment's back.So you'd sneak out and come over to my roof and we'd drink beer all night?"

"Yeah. I don't remember any of my conversations when I was drunk. I don't want to rather. I'd get embarrassingly sentimental and sound alarmingly like you."

"You light up my day sweetheart. Well, I hate beer."

"So?"

"Sigh. Anyone would have thought how that was a sweet gesture and gone misty eyed and appreciated how I'd go through that pain of fermented poison sliding down my throat just to be with you but oh no, the world would end if it knew you had a heart."

"Aww...That's so sweet!I never would have thought a pansy like you hated beer!I have missed you so.Come closer, get a blanket.We'll sit all cuddled up inside and hum Backstreet Boys' songs!"

"I really did miss you babe."

"I know. I knew you hated beer anyway. I'd just wait for the day when you'd confess that. And you have to do it now. You think life is like a rom-com, don't you?"

"If I manage to make you cry, I swear it'll beat 'Notting Hill' being the best movie ever made."

"You think 'Notting Hill' is the best movie ever made?!"

"Let's not start that. Try a conversation my way sometimes. It bruises my ego less."

"You love the bruises, you masochistic fool."

"Well, true. Who am I kidding? So you think life is like a splatter/gore movie eh? Or rather you'd like it to be that way?"

"I'm not all that violent you know. For all my talk about punching you in the nose, I'd probably start crying if I saw you hurt. Don't give me that look!"

"I'm sorry.Did you use the words 'I' and 'cry' in the same sentence with no sarcasm laced under it?Hey that rhymed!"

"Do you want me to punch you now?"

"I'm sorry. So tell me. That whole rom-com thing."

"Not everything is perfect. I'm not. You are so far from it that you can't even see it with a telescope!"

"That was super lame.What's wrong with you?I dint even touch you and you caught me!"

"Shut up!My point is not everything begins and ends with a kiss.And I hope you realize that soon."

"I wouldn't last with you if I weren't stronger.I'll wait for you to weaken."

"It won't happen."

"You said you couldn't make it today.But here you are."

"You love coming up here, don't you?"

"It is beautiful up here."

"Yeah true.I can almost understand why people love watching stars."

"They always make interesting company."

"I know.Want to get some beer?"

"Sure."

P.S- I know it's a little meandering and pointless but I feel really cynical these days and just wanted to express that somehow.By the way, the title is a line from a U2 song 'Stuck in a moment'.If you haven't listened to it yet, what the hell are you doing still reading this?

My personal sun.

Heaven is a New Moon promotional poster and a pool of drool.

Another year, another day...

Your smile.The same wicked upturn of the pink, thin lips, the same knowing glare in your eyes like you caught me thinking, thinking all night about the prospect of seeing you again after all these years.You give me the same little restless flutters I felt, even as you stand across the room, a few hundred feet away, leaning against the table with a casual elegance, a phrase I'll always associate with you.Your scotch touches your lips with a careless precision as you keep looking at me walk towards you slowly.I spot several familiar faces, faces I dint care about then, faces I'll never care about again.It's only you that draws me here, that drew me here in the first place.Every step I take towards you brings me physically closer to you but my mind is farther away.Somehow I think of winter when I think of you and seeing you now makes me feel the chill air of October mornings, the smell of freshly burnt firecrackers, the feel of those days.I have no idea what I'll say to you, I wish I could stop walking towards you and just stare at you smiling and let my bittersweet nostalgia erode a little more.But I'm scared that you'll get tired of waiting and turn away.I walk a tad bit faster, caring not about offending the people who have been greeting me and expecting me to do the same. You are still there, like a half opened window, I go towards it planning to shut it for good but I hold myself back every time.I've seen what's on the other side, I don't intend to again. It is just there, attracting my attention only when the breeze is strong.I smile, anticipating your musical voice as I reach you.You smile back.I wait.