Saturday, January 10, 2009

The Great Depression...

1)To stumble twice against the same stone is a proverbial disgrace.
2)Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.
3)A stitch in time saves nine.
4)Once bitten, twice shy.
5)Failure is a stepping stone for success.

I took all these proverbs and flushed them down the crapper.

Yes, if you haven't guessed that my mood is not so fine by the title, well, you're a fool.I'm fucking pissed off, angry, raging mad, depressed, sad, needy, can I get anymore negative terms around here?I might just invent new ones now.The worst part of this godforsaken mess is: I don't know why I am in this s***.I have no reason, no rhyme(not even in the poems I have been writing.My humour has, mercilessly, remained lame.) I just proved to myself that I have no idea what will power is, 'motivation' is a word I wave at from my bedroom window and goal is something in a football field.Ambition, success, competition, talent?Do these words register in my dull brain?No siree.They have been befuddled in the haze of my extended nap time and in the rush of high cholestrol I consume, day after frigging day.I have written 3 poems recently, one draft almost done and I have no interest or intention of posting them here.Do not ask me why.

I went to the temple today.Willingly.I am still shocked by my behaviour.I felt at peace, lighter(only figuratively of course, my current carbohydrate consumption can add 15 extra pounds on all Haitians, individually.) It felt strange and inspiring.But of course, as it goes without saying, I forgot all about the 'inspiration' in a few nanoseconds.

I want to be alone for sometime and think about where I'm heading.I have learnt from my mistakes and will try not to repeat them.I have realised that I expect too much, I'm overconfident and I let people take me for granted.I wish to rectify these shortcomings.I will, hopefully.After all, tomorrow is another day.Sorry Margaret.Until later.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Do you really need a title?

Munh ki baat sune har koi
Dil ke dard ko jaane kaun...
Aawazon ke baazaaron mein
Khamoshi pehchaane kaun...


Thursday, January 1, 2009

I do not know where to begin.Or rather how.I have never been a person of smooth beginnings and sound endings.It was always the middle ground I liked.But when I see you, in all your glory, I fall short of words; short of phrases to describe you, short of sentences to please you.I remember the way your shirt was crumpled the day before, it looked like you just got out of bed.Your greasy, messy hair, begging to be touched atleast once, if not ruffled.You incite so many feelings in me in a single instant, I'm scared of what I might do if I stay closer to you any longer.You lean in towards me, to catch a sentence I've been saying.And my voice quivers with intensity as I try hard not to bite your ear.My legs feel weak, my breathing faster.I know, love, that you feel nothing this intense, not for me, not for anyone you've known.You are cold, indifferent and, in your own words, too laidback.

Make all excuses you want, you will know one day, some day, the heat in my skin when I look at you.You don't know what passion is?Let my tongue outline it for you, on the pink borders of your nicotine lips.Let my hair leave little trails of goosebumps on the delectable muscle of your chest.Let my hands do the talking for the intentions I have for you in my mind.Your voice rings musically in my ears, your surprisingly soft touch makes me anticipate, more and more.Keep telling yourself you won't fall into this, darling.Surrender your body to me, just for a day.It doesn't take too long to feel alive.

My obsession for you borders on unhealthy, I know.Is it scary?I know your answer already.But know this too, you're marked.You can run away but you can't hide too long.My muse, don't you know it yet?

P.S-Tell me it din't turn you on.