Tuesday, July 17, 2007

My philosophy

I recently finished my 12th std.So had and still have actually, a lotta time on my hands.So after getting bored reading 'Atlas Shrugged'(which by the way is a fantastic book!),bored of watching all the seasons of 'Friends' and plain bored of just lying down,I thought of....yeah,that seems to be a good idea...I thought of thinking....u know just thinking....about stuff like life and how we all came to be what we are and I came up with this amazing philosophy.Its bloody good!!But conditions apply.You have to believe in Karma to understand my philosophy and you have to know a tad bit about 'advaita' by Swami Shankaracharya.If you fulfil these conditions,go ahead and delve into my spiritual knowledge.
The simple thing about 'karma' is that whatever you do,comes back to you.If you do good,well,get ready to receive some of it.The same works the other way round.So if you trace back 'karma' to its roots,if you think back and realise that to start this complicated cycle of bad and good and good and bad,there must be a beginning.There must be an initiation at some point in the history of time.There must be one man who started the bad and thus initiated the cycle.Once human being evolved and had the capacity to think for himself,he formed communities and lived with people of his kind.The first knowledge of bad he had,the first selfish purpose and the first wickedness of thought to achieve ends by non-desirablemeans is what I'd like to call-God.Voila!There is my present thought on the ever interesting topic of spirituality.I know this thought has many loopholes.I'm not that well read in philosophical aspect.But as this was a totally original thought and something I'd want to believe in,I thought it was worth sharing with intelligent people who would want to comment on it.So fellow bloggers,please go ahead and share your views on my write....

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Heaven on earth!

I know its a very cliche title...but thats all you can feel and express when you see the sight I saw.We recently visited the Balaji temple in Tirupati.The trip was very tiring.We had to wait in the queue for over 3 hours!Finally everything was done and we boarded the bus to go downhill and thats when I saw her and fell head over heels in love with her all over again....mother nature...our mother nature!All I could see initially was green-all types of green.There was brownish green,sap green,sea green,dark green,blackish green,greenish black!!Every imaginable shade of green,breathing and alive and reaffirming the fact that God must be one helluva painter!And then there were the flowers!Beautiful ornaments on the green bride....purple infused with white;bright,fresh yellow;splashes of blue!Even orange seemed desirable.I was nauseous....not just because the bus was taking dangerous curves but because I was intoxicated,intoxicated with the wine of luxury of colours,the bonanza of mesmerising fragrances and by the extravaganza of beauty in its purest form!I was very happy,not just because I saw this piece of paradise but because,thankfully,man did not have a fancy for it yet.It was still virgin.It still hasn't fallen into the commercial trap and hopefully it won't.I hope it is still the same green and pastels I saw and I hope it will remain like that.And then I laughed.We went atop the holy hill to get a glimpse of people's favourite God.But somehow the real feeling of awe and wonder and austerity and faith and devotion lay in the journey not the destination.Somehow the way to heaven seems more pleasant than heaven itself......

Thursday, May 3, 2007


This poem of mine is dedicated to my mother.....id just like to say thank u to her for enduring me thru all these years....amma i love you......

I always wished I were a man,

Just because it is so much easier to be one,

To flaunt a few bulgy biceps, stand taller,

Free to come back after midnight, to have unrestricted fun,

Not follow the goody-goody 'lady' etiquettes,

To not be constantly weighed with the so-called responsibility,

Of being 'pure', of upholding family honour,

To be the epitome of pseudo-chastity,

To eat what I want & how much I want,

To not have to look in the mirror & consider anorexia,

PMS is just a joke you could laugh at,

It would be so simple to be a man, huh?

And now as I hold you,

My child, my replicated soul,

As I rock you gently in my arms,

As you fit in the void, overfill that empty hole,

And I watch you yawn wide,

Your pink tongue rolling,

In your cute, toothless grin,

As I sing you a lullaby, your smooth hair caressing.

As I still ache all over my tired body,

From the process of making you,

How ‘we’ became ‘you’ and ‘I’,

And how we are still connected, by a bond new.

The pain seems sweeter,

As your tiny fingers encircle mine,

As you breathe in and out peacefully

And your small heart beats just fine,

As your little feet rub each others’,

My joy was never this great,

My pride swells infinitely,

At this beautiful punishment I got for one naughty mistake,

And now as I step in the new phase of my life,

With you sweetheart in my arms,

I can face anything,

Even the huge tempests and storms,

As we walk our first steps together,

As child and mum,

I want to be nothing but a woman

In all my lives to come…………………

Thursday, April 26, 2007

My conversations with God...

When I get bored by the world,

The same old things,

The same boring stuff,

I go to the rooftop,

To merge up with the sky,

To disappear into another world.

In the late hours of evening,

When the sun bids farewell,

To go on a long journey,

And shine its light on others,

Far,far away from us,

Allowing the stars to deck up

The sky,stepping into the dark night,

Away from the multi-coloured evening.

The first star appears,bright and beautiful,

Shining through the black shroud.

The universe seems concentrated,

On this single,powerful dot;

Like a diamond in a coal mine,

A pepper grain in a bowl of thick curd,

Making the dark mysteries of the night,

Seem ever the lovelier and beautiful.

Other stars appear, like pinpricks tiny,

As though the huge black cloth

Holding up light is bursting,

Into tiny holes, letting out waves

Of differing frequencies and lengths,

In a sharp beam of their unison.

Countless twinkles, so far away,

Yet so near, so huge, yet so tiny.

I look at this marvel of God,

Of the nature, and then softly hear,

Whisperings of my mind, my heart,

Begging me to let out, all my feelings,

My deep fears, my unshed tears,

My dark secrets, as dark as the night,

To unchain the real me,

To be indifferent to matters which do not matter,

To care for those who care,

To give my best to the world around me.

And then am I peaceful,

Experiencing a bliss, a spiritual trance,

A clear mind and a pure heart,

A feeling felt at all times,

But comprehended only a few.

I descend from the stairs,

Back to the same mundane environment,

With a fresher outlook, a brand new view,

Still hearing the soft, soothing whispers,

Of my conversations with God.

Friday, April 13, 2007

I'm selfish!

Have you come across any day where you've NOT heard- "He's so selfish." or "I've never seen anybody as self-centered as her before!". If you haven't, then you must be in heaven. I hear these everyday. I come across various so-called "selfish" people everyday. Heck! I'm one of them!
The Oxford dictionary defines selfish as: concerned chiefly with one's own interests or pleasure actuated by or appealing to self-interest. So if you do anything that gives you pleasure, well, there you go, you're selfish. Over the years, I've been the selfish one in the family. I always do things my way irrespective of what others feel about it. I've always put ahead my interests before others'. And my priorities are way different than most others' I know. But now, having obtained a tad bit of worldly knowledge due to exposure to television and print media, I want to question the very basis of the word 'selfish'.
Consider this. Everyday morning, a girl of around the same age as mine pushes a trolley filled with trash throughout our resedential area. She comes everyday in my house, collects our garbage and goes her way. One day she wasn't able to open our gate (our gate is a rolling gate, you know the one with little wheels. It wasn't greased properly so it was tough opening it.) Me being strong helped her push open the gate. She collected the trash from the backyard and was about to go her way when I stopped her. I gave her a bottle of cold water, a few fruits and sweets. She smiled at me, maybe wanted to say thank you but din't know how to say it. She continued with her work and I went back inside the house. Ok, in the above situation, when I helped her and saw her smile, I was happy. It gave me pleasure and satisfaction. So you can think that what I did was in my interest. So would you call me selfish?
Just think about it. This whole word revolves around 'I', 'me' and 'myself'. We do everything we do to satisfy our ego. Everybody is selfish. Some people's selfish deeds help others, some people's hurt others. Thats the difference and we always have a choice. In this ocean of human beings we live in, where everybody is essentially a Homo sapien, the only unique, distinct thing we possess is our individuality( and our DNA but it doesn't help if you have a monozygotic twin). And us being selfish gives us an edge over others and helps us preserve our individuality. So the next time you wanna call somebody selfish, call yourself a hypocrite first.

When the sun sets, spreading a colourful tint,
And the birds return to their cosy nests,
And weary people make their way back home,
The day ends with nature at its best.

When the crickets chirp around merrily,
And garden sheds, mosquitoes infest,
And lizards scurry for flies, here and there,
The day ends with nature at its best.

When kids tuck in their soft beds,
And the moon begins its pearl-white fest,
And tides rise high at the beach,
The day ends with nature at its best.

When men forget their debits and credits,
And women leave behind gossip and jest,
And the atmosphere winds up peacefully,
Thats when the day ends, with nature at its best.

I'm going far away, to another place,
People are gloomy,
They bring flowers to adorn my grave,
All of their faces clammy,
With tears and perspiration,
Dressed in white,
Creating a totally dull environment,
Wondering at my family's plight,
Saying tastelessly blatant things like:
"She would've loved this,
Look at her pained face, poor thing,
Oh! How she'll be missed...."

I look from above and feel immensely sad.
How can my people do this to me?
How can they spoil my happiest moment?
I wonder indignantly.

When God leads to me his abode,
I hear wails of my family,
Punctuated with sniffs and sobs,
Depressing me, when I was going happily.

I am eager and inquisitive,
And can hardly control my feet,
I wanna run through the door,
And meet all the people I wanted to meet.
Dead rockstars, long gone emperors,
All the people I was always fascinated with,
I wanna ask them about their thoughts and ideas,
How they feel about their life, after death.
I want to glide through the black holes,
Skate on the rings of Saturn,
Set myself ablaze on the huge ball of fire,
Sink in deep oceans, never to return.

I wanna look over my near and dear,
Observe who really mourned me,
And who rejoiced my eternal sleep,
And laugh aloud at their stupidity.
I wanna check the crime rate,
Curse all the hypocrites and their lies,
I wanna cry over others' pain,
Without being irritated by worried eyes.

I am moving to another world,
Much bigger than this one,
Much more beautiful,
Much closer to the Almighty, closer to the sun.....

So don't spoil my happy day,
Rejoice, distribute sweets,
Wear psychedelic clothes,
And sing with roaring joy....
My sincere and heartfelt request,
To all people concerned,
Please don't cry at my funeral........

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Appetite for destruction!

Some day last year in February, I visited my relatives in Mysore. There was a house-warming ceremony, a "Gruha-Pravesh" that is and it was sort of a family get together too. I was more than happy that I was meeting my uncles and aunts and my cousins after a long time. The ceremony was done. The house was beautifully constructed and now it was good to be occupied soon.
The next day, there were some post Gruha Pravesha ceremonies which we had to attend. I woke up a little late, so when I joined everybody, they had already finished their breakfast. So I had to eat alone.
My cousins accompanied me to the table and gave me the good news- there was uppit for breakfast. (for those of you who do not know what uppit is, it is a 'delicacy' prepared from soji or rava with a few vegetables thrown in. It is disliked by almost every mortal I know.) So I had to eat uppit to calm my grumbling stomach and raise my blood sugar levels. I braved a bite...... It tasted nothing like uppit. It was very good actually. It tasted even better with curd so I quickly finished the second helping and reached for the third. Thats when it all started. My cousins looked visibly shocked. Some workers who were helping out with vessels and all were openly pointing at me and laughing. My elder brother came up from behind and looked disgusted with me and said "Stop eating, tubby!" ( yeah, he calls me tubby.) My other cousin (who by the way has a waist of which even Kiera Knightely would be envious about) came up, looked at me and said "How do you manage that?" pointing at my slightly bulged midriff. This news spread like wildfire and and everybody kept advising me how I should control my appetite and how girls should always eat less..............what!!
I did not have a problem that I was so openly ridiculed. I did not mind those annoying,
concerned look in my elders' eyes. All I'm asking is-why the hell can't I eat? Ok I'm fat. I have flab peeking out of my sleeves, I run out of breath while climbing the stairs et al but why can't I eat what I wanna eat and how much I wanna eat? There's not a single day in my adolescence that my brother hasn't come up to me everytime I eat and said to me- " You're gonna explode one day, you know." My friends actually told me once that my husband would go bankrupt satisfying my appetite........why???
I have a healthy appetite. Maybe larger than many I know but nevertheless healthy. I scorn at words like 'anoeroxia' and 'bulimia' and wonder how people can actually die due to anything related to food(except for food allergies). I cannot be somebody like Mischa Barton even if you paid me to be. I use my toothbrush to brush my teeth and hairbrush to just comb my hair. I will never go in for wierd surgeries like stomach stitching and all just to improve my eating habits, for God's sake!
I believe food is a God given gift, drastically improved by man and I'll be committing blashphemy if I don't eat well. Oh yeah, you can tell me "People in Somalia are dying of hunger." but please, how many of you actually think about that when you are happily hogging away at your McDonald's happy meals? In any case, I'm not snatching somebody else's daily bread. I'm eating my own food, bought by the hard-earned money of my parents. And I'll continue to do so.
My dreamland in the past was a place full of trees and waterfalls and a Porsche Boxster (black) whose driver is my Prince Charming. But now it has changed. It can be any place for all I care, but a place where I can eat what I want and any quantity I want without being irritated by worried eyes or hearing the word 'enough' a billion times. So please folks, all I'm asking is let me be and yeah, lemme eat!

P.S- Just so you know, I promote vegetarianism. Cheers!
" If thoughts would be formula one cars,
Then I'd be Michael Schumacher......"

Ok I know its bad..but its original..ok i'll start my new venture by sayin that i don't know much abt blogging. So please forgive me for any unintentional mistakes or any kinda naivety from my side. As i call it, i apologise for any blopaux! sorry, it was a bad joke....

I just wanna write down and express what I've experienced,seen and felt. If you anywhere at some point say " yeah, this happened to me too!" then my efforts will pay off and i'll be glad that im a normal human being! so, i start blogging!!!!!!!!!!