1)To stumble twice against the same stone is a proverbial disgrace.
2)Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.
3)A stitch in time saves nine.
4)Once bitten, twice shy.
5)Failure is a stepping stone for success.
I took all these proverbs and flushed them down the crapper.
Yes, if you haven't guessed that my mood is not so fine by the title, well, you're a fool.I'm fucking pissed off, angry, raging mad, depressed, sad, needy, can I get anymore negative terms around here?I might just invent new ones now.The worst part of this godforsaken mess is: I don't know why I am in this s***.I have no reason, no rhyme(not even in the poems I have been writing.My humour has, mercilessly, remained lame.) I just proved to myself that I have no idea what will power is, 'motivation' is a word I wave at from my bedroom window and goal is something in a football field.Ambition, success, competition, talent?Do these words register in my dull brain?No siree.They have been befuddled in the haze of my extended nap time and in the rush of high cholestrol I consume, day after frigging day.I have written 3 poems recently, one draft almost done and I have no interest or intention of posting them here.Do not ask me why.
I went to the temple today.Willingly.I am still shocked by my behaviour.I felt at peace, lighter(only figuratively of course, my current carbohydrate consumption can add 15 extra pounds on all Haitians, individually.) It felt strange and inspiring.But of course, as it goes without saying, I forgot all about the 'inspiration' in a few nanoseconds.
I want to be alone for sometime and think about where I'm heading.I have learnt from my mistakes and will try not to repeat them.I have realised that I expect too much, I'm overconfident and I let people take me for granted.I wish to rectify these shortcomings.I will, hopefully.After all, tomorrow is another day.Sorry Margaret.Until later.